Speech, May 26, 2012

Filene Center at Wolf Trap

Vienna, VA


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GK: Our Memorial Day speech will be given by the Honorable Shirley Goodman, Member of the U.S. Congress from the 2nd District, North Dakota. Congresswoman Goodman.

SS: Yeah. Thank you. It’s a pleasure. Let’s skip all the happy talk about sacrifice and Memorial Day and the Gettysburg Address stuff and lighting a candle instead of cursing the darkness and all of that, and let me just say what’s on my mind and that is that I am sick of people beating up on Washington and Congress and I don’t mind saying so. I got an opponent out there who is trash-talking me like I am personally responsible for everything bad in his life. Get over it. We’re doing the best that can be done in Washington dealing with real problems for which there are no easy fixes and if you idiots out there want to believe what you hear on Fox News, that’s up to you, but don’t expect me to take you seriously. Here’s what I want to say to you. HIT IT, BOYS.

1.
We're not gonna take it.
No, we ain't gonna take it.
We're not gonna take it anymore. (We're Not Gonna Take It)

SS: I am speaking for every member of Congress, Republicans, Democrats, Independents, I don’t care who they are ----- we are sick and tired of fools and bozos and windbags coming to public meetings and yelling a bunch of nonsense at us when you don’t know squat about what is going on. And I have to sit up there and grin and treat you like you were serious people instead of the clowns you are. You think we’re having a big party down here in Washington??? Well, you know something, I wish it were true. I wish. HIT IT BOYS

2. I wanna rock and roll all night --- and party every day.
I wanna rock and roll all night-- and party every day. (Rock and Roll All Night)

SS: I gotta spend eight hours a day in committee rooms up on Capitol Hill listening to a hundred of the Most Boring People In America sit and read their prepared statements and it’s all about courthouse safety and putting metal detectors and concrete barriers around every single town hall in America for a gazillion bucks and then I’ve got to hear about leather footwear and why we should suspend temporarily the rate of tarriffs on leather footwear, and then there’s another meeting about the soda ash industry and their problems and I don’t know if you’ve ever sat through a two-hour hearing on the subject of soda ash, but the only thing that keeps me alive is my iPod and these little buds in my ears and while that big bozo in the blue suit is on page 4 of his 17-page prepared statement, I am in my own little world up here. Love it. Gotta love it.

3.
We don't need no education
We don't need no thought control
No dark sarcasm in the classroom
Teacher leave them kids alone
Hey! Teacher! Leave them kids alone! (Another Brick in the Wall)

SS: I am the only Member of Congress who dares to speak truth to the American people. We get really really sick of you people ----- the ones who voted for us, the ones who voted against us, the ones who don’t vote ----- after awhile, it’s all the same. Politics brings out the worst in some people. Gasbags, blowhards, big huffers and woofers, lobbyists and hobbyists and people who want favors from you and people who think the earth is flat and people who want us to go back on the gold standard and outright fascists ------ the sheer number of yahoos and bozos in America is stupefying, people! Stupefying. The longer I’m here in Congress, the more I believe in rock and roll----- it saved my sanity, people -----

4.
I am an antichrist
I am an anarchist
Don't know what I want
But I know how to get it
I wanna destroy passerby

SS: Here I am sitting in Congress from the 2nd District, North Dakota, and I am going back home to run for reelection and let me tell you this, North Dakota ----- I love you but I don’t give a rip what you think ----- I’m the best Congressperson you ever had and if you’re not smart enough to know that, then goodbye and good luck. You vote against me----- I’m out of here ----- no skin off my rear end-----so don’t weep for me, Argentina---- you won’t have Shirley Goodman to kick around anymore. No sir.

5.
You gotta fight for your right to party (Fight for your Right [To Party])

GK: A Memorial Day message from the Honorable Shirley Goodman, Member of Congress from the 2nd District, North Dakota. Thank you.....

Old Sweet Songs: A Prairie Home Companion 1974-1976

Old Sweet Songs

Lovingly selected from the earliest archives of A Prairie Home Companion, this heirloom collection represents the music from earliest years of the now legendary show: 1974–1976. With songs and tunes from jazz pianist Butch Thompson, mandolin maestro Peter Ostroushko, Dakota Dave Hull and the first house band, The Powdermilk Biscuit Band (Adam Granger, Bob Douglas and Mary DuShane).

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