GK: Here's a message for you old-timers ----- it's embarrassing to go around and not be able to put a name to a face. And it happens a lot.
SS: Oh. Right. Sorry.
FN: That's okay, Jennifer.
FN: Oh right. Of course.
GK: So you try to pretend you know people's names.
FN: Oh. Hi.
SS: Hey. Great to see you.
FN: How you been?
SS: Great. And you?
GK: But they know you don't remember them.
SS: My name is Marsha, by the way.
FN: I know you! What? You think I didn't know you?
SS: It's okay. It doesn't matter.
GK: But it does matter. And you can solve the problem with a face-recognition chip from Fritz Electronics. Simply clip the chip to your shirt pocket and snake the wire up to your ear. It looks like a hearing aid but it's a database holding up to 10,000 photo images of everyone in your yearbook, Facebook friends, family, everyone you ever knew , so when you go to the class reunion-----
TR: Hi! Remember me?
SS (ROBOT): Barry Halper.
FN: Barry Halper!
TR: That's incredible. You remember me?
FN: You haven't changed a bit.
TR: Wow. Who are you?
FN: Me? Who am I?
TR: Who are you?
FN: Well----- um-------- you mean me------
GK: And you can't come up with your own name. Premature dementia. No problem with the face-recognition chip. Just aim it at yourself.
SS (ROBOT): Fred Newman.
FN: I'm Fred Newman.
TR: Hey!!! Great.
GK: The face scanner, from Fritz Electronics. Just 49.99, available in stores only, not online.
Lovingly selected from the earliest archives of A Prairie Home Companion, this heirloom collection represents the music from earliest years of the now legendary show: 1974–1976. With songs and tunes from jazz pianist Butch Thompson, mandolin maestro Peter Ostroushko, Dakota Dave Hull and the first house band, The Powdermilk Biscuit Band (Adam Granger, Bob Douglas and Mary DuShane).