Bertha's Kitty Boutique, October 13, 2012

The Fitzgerald Theater

Saint Paul, MN


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Bertha's Kitty Boutique

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GK: Back after this message from Bertha's Kitty Boutique.

SS: You all ready?

TR: Yeah.

SS: Are we late?

TR: No.

SS: You're sure?

TR: Yeah.

SS: Did you take the dogs out?

TR: Yeah.

SS: Did they both poop?

TR: Yeah.

SS: Yesterday I noticed Blackie's poop was soft again.

TR: Oh?

SS: Are you sure Whitey pooped? He was constipated yesterday. He's got that one little tiny six-square-inch area where he'll do it and I took him there and then Blackie went after that other dog and the leashes got crossed and I had a cup of coffee in my hand and one leash between my legs and the other behind me and I had to ask a guy to hold my coffee and Whitey got upset and he wouldn't do it --- so did he do it today?

TR: Yeah, he did.

SS: He pooped?

TR: Right.

SS: What did it look like?

TR: What do you mean?

SS: Well, you picked it up, didn't you?

TR: Yes.

SS: What did it look like?

TR: I didn't examine it that closely.

SS: Was it loose, was it firm?

TR: I don't remember.

SS: How can you not remember?

TR: Louise?

SS: Yes?

TR: Why do we talk about dog poop all the time?

SS: I don't think we talk about it all the time.

TR: Every evening when we sit down to supper, the conversation focuses on our dogs' bowel movements.

SS: And? So?

TR: We used to talk about books, movies, art. Now it's poop poop poop.

GK: If you're tired of being a toilet attendant, maybe it's time you thought about getting a cat. Cats take care of this themselves, just like you and I do. Cats --- the pet preferred by people who have their own lives to lead.

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