Match, October 27, 2012

Elliott Hall of Music, Purdue University

West Lafayette, IN


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Match

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GK: It turned cold when we got to town and the wind blowing down the street made me think of that famous story......

(MUSIC)

(WIND, A FEW CARS PASSING. FOOTSTEPS)

SS: Matches, sir? Buy some matches?

TR: Sorry.

(CARS PASSING)

SS: Nobody wants matches. I haven't sold any all day. And it's so cold. I don't dare go home with no money. Father will be so angry. I wish I had shoes. If only someone would buy my matches. I'm so hungry. Oh my---- snow falling. ---- Matches?? Matches for sale. (FOOTSTEPS PASS) ----- All the houses look so lovely with their lights on.....I smell supper cooking.......if only someone would help me..........My hands are numb. I feel sleepy.

I could light my matches and warm my hands. Yes----- (STRIKE MATCH, BURST OF FLAME) oh it's so beautiful. And what is this? (GLISS OF MAGIC MUSIC) A man ----- who are you?

FN: My name is Mr. Sensational.

SS: Mr. Sensational-----

FN: Don't waste time selling matches, kid. Sell these?

SS: Little bags of vegetable matter.

FN: Stand right here and just say, Have a light, have a light, have a light. Gotta smoke, gotta smoke, gotta smoke.

SS: Okay. Thanks, Mr. Sensational. ---- Have a light, have a light, have a light. Gotta smoke, gotta smoke, gotta smoke.

TR: Hey, gimme two.

FN: One for me, kid.

SS (DEEP): Gimme two.

TR: One more for me.

SS: I sold them all. I've got hundreds of dollars. Enough to buy new shoes and ---- enough to rent my own apartment. I'm tired of living with father and mother and little brother Ben. I'll strike out on my own.

GK: And she struck another match and it lit with a flash and there stood her old grandmother, so bright, so sweet and kind.

SS (OLD): You ought to be ashamed of yourself. That stuff is against the law. You know that.

SS (GIRL): It's not that bad. Some people use it for medicine.

SS (OLD): Don't give me that.

SS (GIRL): What do you recommend I do instead, Grandma?

SS (OLD): Marry a man with a snootful of money. Live a life of leisure and spend your winters in the Caribbean.

SS (GIRL): Okay. But where would I find him?

TR (OLD): Hello darling. This is my house you're standing in front of. Won't you come in? Dinner is on the table. I'm so lonely, I'd love your company. Tonight and for many nights to come.

SS (GIRL): Oh. Okay.

GK: And it was a match. The little match girl and the rich old tycoon. She married him and the excitement was too much for him and he died.

TR (OLD, FAINT): Goodbye...I die happy.

GK: And she had millions and millions of dollars, most of it in off-shore tax shelters, and a big mansion (FOOTSTEPS ON MARBLE) and a vacation home (SURF AND GULLS) and a stable of horses (SFX) and a butler named Ernest (FN: At your service, ma'am) and little did she know that he was an evil butler (EVIL CHUCKLE) and that when he brought her dinner in to her in the evening (FOOTSTEPS) he came through the pantry where on the top shelf (FOOTSTEPS STOP) there was a bottle of white powder (EVIL CHUCKLES) that looked like dish soap but it was not. (FOOTSTEPS) And every night he looked at it and looked at her dinner on the plate (EVIL CHUCKLE) and then brought it in to her (FOOTSTEPS STOP. FN: YOUR DINNER, MA'AM)

SS: Thank you, Ernest.

GK: She had no idea what that white powder was. And that is a whole other story. The End.

Old Sweet Songs: A Prairie Home Companion 1974-1976

Old Sweet Songs

Lovingly selected from the earliest archives of A Prairie Home Companion, this heirloom collection represents the music from earliest years of the now legendary show: 1974–1976. With songs and tunes from jazz pianist Butch Thompson, mandolin maestro Peter Ostroushko, Dakota Dave Hull and the first house band, The Powdermilk Biscuit Band (Adam Granger, Bob Douglas and Mary DuShane).

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