School, October 27, 2012

Elliott Hall of Music, Purdue University

West Lafayette, IN


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GK: Let's come in here with a word from the School of Hard Knocks.

Having a degree in engineering from Purdue is a ticket to the good life ---- but if you majored in the liberal arts, say in something like media or gender studies or film history, you may want to pick up some real-life skills that'll help you find a job. Like kicking and shoving people. Studies show that aggression is a leading factor in successful job searching. See that dummy ahead of you in line?

DR: Who you calling a dummy?

GK: Hey, you spilled on your shirt.

DR: Where? (KONK) (DR GROANS)

GK: See how that works?

SS: That's not so hard. I was in women's studies and did my senior thesis on Edith Wharton but when it comes down to getting a job or not getting a job, I think I can----do what I have to do---- (SHE SWINGS, KONK, GK OOFFF, GROAN).

TR: I majored in religion and graduated from seminary and applied for a job as assistant rector at Holy Redeemer and went for the interview and found two other candidates waiting for their interviews and I had to (SERIES OF SWINGS, SHOVES, KONKS, SS&DR REACTIONS) ---- fight my way to the front.

GK: It's not enough to be articulate anymore. You've got to ----- (SWING, LOW THUMP, TR REACT) ---- those of you listening at home, is there someone sitting next to you, perhaps a loved one or close friend ----- let's see you smack em in the chops. Come on. Do it. The School of Hard Knocks. Your grandparents went there and now it's your turn.

TR (ELDERLY): Outta my way, sonny boy. (WHAP, WHAP)

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