SFX, November 10, 2012

Auditorium Theatre of Roosevelt University

Chicago, IL

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Listen (MP3)

GK: We have some valiant listeners on the East Coast and we want to recognize them---- Mrs. Sandy Withrow of Ocean Grove who stayed in her home during the hurricane and (HURRICANE WINDS, SURF) finished her crossword puzzle (SS MURMURS) with a waterproof pen even as the roof was blowing off (SFX) and who was led to safety by her cat Muffy (SFX, CAT IN THE STORM, WRECKAGE, SURF) and then there was Sandy Sanderson of Amenia, New York, who continued to do yoga through the storm (TR CHANTING) even as his basement was flooding (SFX) and who opened his home to thousands of gulls and cormorants (SFX) seeking shelter. And let's not forget Sandy Givens of Brooklyn who stayed at the piano at the Café Bijou (HURRICANE, PIANO) and sang though the club was empty---

SS (SINGS): Walk on through the wind, (GLASS BREAKAGE)
Walk on through the rain, (SIREN)
Tho' your dreams be tossed and blown. (RESCUERS SHOUTS)
Walk on, walk on
With hope in your heart
(TR: Come on, lady, we're getting you out of here)
And you'll never walk alone,
(TR: Lift her under the arms, Jimmy. Under the arms.)
You'll never walk alone.

GK: And there was author Sandy Frazier of Montclair, NJ, who stayed at his Remington typewriter and described the destruction as it occurred (HURRICANE) (TYPING) TR WRITING: Trees were bent almost to the ground as the force of the storm, almost Biblical in its ferocity, drove paper and trash through the deserted streets and into the trees' branches.) He continued writing about the storm until the wind died down (END OF WIND) Nothing like a big storm to demonstrate the strength of the human spirit, Sandy.

TR: Well, when a hurricane has your name on it, you feel a certain sense of responsibility. And, let's face it, pride.

GK: In New York City, the subway, despite terrible damage, was back operating within a few days (SCREECH OF BRAKES, DOORS OPEN, FN UNINTELLIGIBLE P.A. ANNOUNCE), even as lines for gas snaked through the city for miles (CAR HORNS) and people were forced to carpool in taxis (SFX) and try to find payphones that worked (SFX) and meanwhile, out here in the Midwest, (COWS, CHICKENS) life goes on at its stately pace, no drama whatsoever----

SS: So what's new then?

TR: Oh, not much. You know----

SS: Yeah. Same here.

GK: Except in North Dakota. Out on the high prairie, oil drilling and coal mining have produced vast wealth and North Dakotans have come to embrace a whole new lifestyle---

SS: So you want to go to Martinique this year or St. Bart's?

TR: It's up to you, makes no difference to me----

SS: Well, which one would you like?

TR: You suit yourself then. I'm good either way.

SS: Want to charter our own jet and fly down?

TR: Sounds good.

SS: With a flight attendant of our own?

TR: You bet.

SS: Okay. Entrée. You want the filet mignon or the grilled salmon?

TR: You decide.

SS: Filet mignon. And the wine---- you want a 1988 Puligny-Montrachet or a 1997 Pinot Noir?

TR: Uh. Pinot Noir.

SS: What's wrong with the Montrachet?

TR: Okay, the Montrachet.

SS: Unless you really want the Pinot---

TR: No, no.

SS: Don't let me talk you out of it.

TR: Montrachet is what I meant to say.

GK: But deep down under the earth's thin crust ancient eggs come to life (SFX), the vibrations of drilling, and high-powered hydraulic pressure (SFX) causes ancient genetic material to reconstitute (PTERODACTYL)---- you guessed it, gigantic pterodactyls, roaming the flat land, urinating on the fields and destroying farms (SFX) and feeding on silage (SFX), whole silos of silage sucked dry in moments (SFX), and silage does produce terrible flatulence ----- how many of you young people know what the word "flatulence" means? It doesn't refer to flatness.Maybe you could Google flatulence right now. And when pterodactyls get flatulence they get it bad (SFX) ----- cyclones of stink come out of them (SFX) ----- funnel clouds of putridity (SFX)—do you kids know what a funnel cloud is? And no, it has nothing to do with fun. Look it up. So the pterodactyls run around urinating and you don't know they're coming because with pterodactyls, the P is silent.

GK: And then there are the aliens. They like to land their ships (ALIEN SPACESHIP, WHIRRING, ODD PITCH, DESCENDING) on flat ground in the middle of nowhere (FN ALIEN TALK) -----

SS (MIDWESTERN): There's someone with antennae and blue skin and enormous eyes at the front door, Bob---

TR: Tell em we don't want any.

GK: And then there are the box elder bugs, clouds of them, trillions (WHIRRING OF INSECT LIFE), and they are everywhere ---- you sit down in a chair and (SQUISH), you take a bite of salad (CRUNCH, SS EWWWWW) ---- You get more protein than you counted on. Pterodactyls, aliens, box elder bugs. A hurricane is rough but look at it this way ---- it kept your ancient eggs from hatching, it scared away aliens, and it eliminated your box elder bug population. (PIANO)

So always look for the silver lining
And try to find the sunny side of life.

Old Sweet Songs: A Prairie Home Companion 1974-1976

Old Sweet Songs

Lovingly selected from the earliest archives of A Prairie Home Companion, this heirloom collection represents the music from earliest years of the now legendary show: 1974–1976. With songs and tunes from jazz pianist Butch Thompson, mandolin maestro Peter Ostroushko, Dakota Dave Hull and the first house band, The Powdermilk Biscuit Band (Adam Granger, Bob Douglas and Mary DuShane).

Available now»

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