Cleaning Lady, December 1, 2012

The Town Hall

New York, NY


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Cleaning Lady

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GK: Coming up later on many of these stations: The Cleaning Lady. (DARK THEME)

SS: (HUMMING TO HERSELF AS SHE DUSTS) Boy, what a pig sty. Clothes thrown all over. Red wine stains on the bedspread. And cracker crumbs. Oh boy. Whose black silk boxers are these? (SHE SNIFFS) Yeah. So he's back again. Codependency on parade. Oh boy. Is this what I think it is, under the pillow? Oh my gosh. Us. US!!!! English professor at NYU and she's reading Us Magazine. Good grief. (PHONE RINGS, THREE TIMES) (CLICK. FN: Hi, we're not home, leave a message.)

ER ON PHONE: Sondra? If you're there, can you pick up?

SS (CLEANING LADY, IMITATING): "SONDRA, IF YOU'RE THERE CAN YOU PICK UP?"

ER ON PHONE: Could you just do the bathrooms and the kitchen and skip the bedroom? Sondra?

SS (CLEANING LADY, IMITATING): SONDRA?

ER ON PHONE: Okay, have a nice day.

SS (CLEANING LADY): "Okay, have a nice day."

(CLICK) So what is it you're hiding, lady? I already know about the antidepressants. Whoa!!!!! A whole empty pizza box under the bed. Oh boy. Extra large for one little lady. And what's this? Root beer cans. Six of them. Okay. I get the picture.

GK: That's later tonight on 'THE CLEANING LADY.'

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