Fiscal, December 1, 2012

The Town Hall

New York, NY


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Fiscal

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(TRUMPET FANFARE)

TR (ANNC): ADVENTURES IN ECONOMICS: WHY MEN CANNOT BE TRUSTED TO PULL THE NATION BACK FROM THE FISCAL CLIFF (FN SFX FALLING OFF HIGH CLIFF, SPLAT)

GK: I'm going out.

SS: Oh. Okay. Would you mind picking up some milk while you're out?

GK: Sure. Anything else?

SS: Um. Oh, some toilet paper. We're just about out.

GK: Okay. Bye. (DOOR CLOSE. PASSAGE OF TIME BRIDGE)

(DOOR OPEN)

GK: Hi. I'm back.

SS: How was your walk?

GK: Very nice.

SS: Why do you have four grocery bags?

GK: Oh I just picked up a few things. Here's the milk.

SS: Whole milk?

GK: Isn't that what we do?

SS: Um, no. A pound of artichokes? And what are all these cheeses? Spanish Manchego? A six-pound prime rib roast for the two of us? Greek yoghurt? Anchovies? Pimentos? A dozen quail eggs? Cantaloupe imported from Spain? shitake mushrooms? fig ice cream? Quinoa? Pico de gallo? What's this?

GK: Salmon burgers.

SS: Dandelion seeds? Octopus sushi? Were you just picking random things off the shelves?

GK: Sorry, I just got things I thought we'd like.

SS: We're here for two days.

GK: We'll have people over.

SS: Where's the toilet paper?

GK: Toilet paper. Oh right. Sorry.

SS: I sent you out to buy a couple bucks worth of necessities and you came back with $387.67 worth of impulse buys.

GK: Sorry you feel that way.

SS: It's not a feeling, it's a reality. Look what I have in my hand----

GK: My billfold. How'd you get that?

SS: Picked it out of your pocket. I'm keeping this. No more credit cards for you. No ATM. Here's twenty bucks. That's your allowance for the week.

GK: For the week?????

SS: And I'm returning the groceries. And getting toilet paper.

GK: What about your earrings?

SS: That's entirely different.

GK: How?

SS: You bought perishables. Emeralds are not perishable. They're an investment.

GK: In what?

SS: Put the milk in the fridge. Now.

GK: Okay but I (FOOTSTEPS) don't think this is fair at all. (DOOR OPEN) I think we need to (FALLING CRY, LONG, SPLASH)

TR (ANNC): ADVENTURES IN ECONOMICS: WILL AMERICA AVOID THE FISCAL CLIFF?

TRUMPET FANFARE

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