Bad Gifts, December 22, 2012

The Town Hall

New York, NY


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Bad Gifts

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Don't give someone maternity clothes if you're not sure if they're pregnant.

Don't give someone a fanny pack. Not if you like them.

Don't give someone a cactus. It sends the wrong message.

Don't give someone an eggplant.

Don't give underwear to someone you don't know very well,
Especially if you do not know their size.

Don't give someone a book that is about a subject
You and that person disagree about bitterly.

Don't give anyone a framed photo of yourself.
If they wanted one, they would have asked you for it.

Don't give anyone a dog or cat.
Or fish or bird.
Or snake or iguana.

Don't give a woman anti-aging facial cream.

Don't give a man a nose hair trimmer. He might be grateful later, but most likely not in that moment.

Don't give self-help books, such as "How To Overcome Narcissism"

Don't give anyone deodorant, especially if they need it.

Don't give a toilet plunger, or a harpoon, or a jar of pickles, or cleaning supplies.

Don't give someone a gift certificate to the 99 cent store.

Don't give someone a sparkly Christmas sweater if they are over thirty years old.

Don't give a blender. They have one already.

Don't give anyone a t-shirt that says, "Never Give up."

Don't give someone a CD of you singing.

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