Bad Gifts, December 22, 2012

The Town Hall

New York, NY

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Bad Gifts

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Don't give someone maternity clothes if you're not sure if they're pregnant.

Don't give someone a fanny pack. Not if you like them.

Don't give someone a cactus. It sends the wrong message.

Don't give someone an eggplant.

Don't give underwear to someone you don't know very well,
Especially if you do not know their size.

Don't give someone a book that is about a subject
You and that person disagree about bitterly.

Don't give anyone a framed photo of yourself.
If they wanted one, they would have asked you for it.

Don't give anyone a dog or cat.
Or fish or bird.
Or snake or iguana.

Don't give a woman anti-aging facial cream.

Don't give a man a nose hair trimmer. He might be grateful later, but most likely not in that moment.

Don't give self-help books, such as "How To Overcome Narcissism"

Don't give anyone deodorant, especially if they need it.

Don't give a toilet plunger, or a harpoon, or a jar of pickles, or cleaning supplies.

Don't give someone a gift certificate to the 99 cent store.

Don't give someone a sparkly Christmas sweater if they are over thirty years old.

Don't give a blender. They have one already.

Don't give anyone a t-shirt that says, "Never Give up."

Don't give someone a CD of you singing.

Old Sweet Songs: A Prairie Home Companion 1974-1976

Old Sweet Songs

Lovingly selected from the earliest archives of A Prairie Home Companion, this heirloom collection represents the music from earliest years of the now legendary show: 1974–1976. With songs and tunes from jazz pianist Butch Thompson, mandolin maestro Peter Ostroushko, Dakota Dave Hull and the first house band, The Powdermilk Biscuit Band (Adam Granger, Bob Douglas and Mary DuShane).

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