English, January 19, 2013

ASU Gammage

Tempe, AZ

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Listen (MP3)

Well I went up to A.S.U.
Looking for something great to do
I majored in English and I read Shakespeare
And now I'm ready to begin a career.


In Tucson, working at a drive-in
In Tucson, whaddayaknow
In Tucson, how about fries with that
Please pull up to the second window.

GK: If you're an English major, you graduate with more knowledge and understanding than the world know what to do with.

TR (RECITE): How weary, stale, flat, and unprofitable
Seem to me all the uses of this world!
Things rank and gross in nature
Possess it merely.

GK: This person is not going to be good at retail sales, and so we put him at a microphone speaking to people through a little box under the illuminated menu.

TR: Welcome to Burger Prince, would you like the Hamlet Burger, fries, and soda for $1.78?

GK: And though it seems like menial work, you are making contact with hundreds of people a day, and one day----

SS: Yes, I would like the Hamlet Burger, and sir?

TR: Yeah?

SS: Something in your voice tells me that you are a person whose sensibility we're looking for in the world of women's fashion.

TR: Yeah?

SS: My name is Stephanie Narsiss and I am a designer of women's nighties and underwear. How would you like to get into underwear?

TR: Oh wow.

SS: I can only offer you a hundred grand to start but the benefits are spectacular.

TR: Hey. I'm there. I'm all over it.

BAND: You may have to work in a drive-in
Do day-care or drive a bus,
Eventually your time will come
And you'll become big stars like us.

English majors, where is the money
Go ahead, make a demand
English is a beautiful language
Don't accept less than a hundred grand.

Old Sweet Songs: A Prairie Home Companion 1974-1976

Old Sweet Songs

Lovingly selected from the earliest archives of A Prairie Home Companion, this heirloom collection represents the music from earliest years of the now legendary show: 1974–1976. With songs and tunes from jazz pianist Butch Thompson, mandolin maestro Peter Ostroushko, Dakota Dave Hull and the first house band, The Powdermilk Biscuit Band (Adam Granger, Bob Douglas and Mary DuShane).

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