Tax, January 26, 2013

Overture Center for the Arts

Madison, WI


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Tax

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GK: Coming up later on many of these stations...

TR (ANNC): As tax time approaches for young graphic designer Abby Carew , one man stands between her and financial peril.....Dave Hartman, Certified Public Accountant.

(PIANO GLISS, UNDER)

GK: You really should get an office, Miss Carew. It's a business expense, you know ---- A professional graphic designer should not be working in coffee shops. You deserve better. Just my opinion. But at least you did save your coffee receipts. 2500 dollars in coffee expenses (TYPING)--

SS: (TO HERSELF) I love the way he squints when he looks at the numbers. He's going to get me a refund, I know it.

GK: Didn't you take anybody to lunch this year, Miss Carew? That's all deductible you know.

SS: (TO HERSELF) The one I want to take to lunch is him. My taxman. And I wish he wouldn't call me "Miss Carew"----

GK: Okay---- office supplies. New computer. Educational expenses. Good. And you know, since you do some work at home, you can partially write off the cost of rent. Like the spare bedroom, if you use that as an office.

SS: (TO HERSELF) Ohhh. He said "bedroom". Be still my beating heart.

GK: But you know, I have to say this ----

SS (TO HERSELF): Oh say it, say it, say it.

GK: You don't need me to do your taxes, Miss Carew. You can get all this information online ---- just go to irs.gov.

SS (TO HERSELF): NO, NO, NO. NO! NO. No no no no no no.

GK: And what is this item here? Gift for tax preparer ---- $220???

SS: I was hoping we could go to dinner. You and me. Dave-----

GK: Well----- it wouldn't be tax deductible unless we talked about business.

SS: We can talk about anything you want to talk about, Dave. You make me feel so alive. I've never felt like this with a certified public accountant before.

GK: Do you mind if I look at your 1099s?

SS: Do I mind if you look at my 1099s. ----- Do I mind if you look at my 1099s.....Oh Dave.....I've been wanting to show you my 1099s for months. I want to show you all of my 1099s. From this year and past years, too. My 1099s are yours. Utterly yours. I wish that you and I-----

GK: Miss Carew-----

SS: I wish that someday you and I would ----- dare I say it ------ file a joint return.

GK: Miss Carew.....

SS: Call me Abby. Please. Please. (BIG GLISS, SWELL)

TR (ANNC): The heartbreak accountant who does the numbers for lonely women. That's later tonight on many of these stations.

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