Coffee, March 2, 2013

The Fitzgerald Theater

Saint Paul, MN


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Coffee

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GK: It's March—which means spring to half the country, but not here in Minnesota. We know there's one and maybe two big snowfalls left. (BLIZZARD, WOLF) It's nice now but the nice weather just lures you into complacency and you go out one morning and (WHEELS SPINNING) its icy but you don't care, you drive fast and (CAR SKIDDING, CRY OF ALARM, BIG CRUNCH, GLASS BREAKAGE) you skid into a tree and (FAROFF SIREN) you hear a commotion and then everything goes dark (ORGAN) and you smell flowers and someone is standing beside you (TR MINISTER: What can we say about Darwin Montouth? He was a very private person. And so, rather than my standing up here and telling you all about Darwin, how about we each remember him silently in our own way-----)

GK: No. Don't do it. And the best way to avoid complacency is to drink more coffee. Caffeine keeps you focused. (HORSES WHINNY) So you get out the sleigh and hitch up the horses and off you go (GALLOPING, SLEIGH BELLS) across the tundra just in time to see a boy whose foot is stuck in the railroad track (TR CRY) and you scoop him up (GALLOP) just as the Evening Express comes through (TRAIN FAST, CLOSE, DOPPLER) and you give him some coffee. Because it's the secret of the good life. Coffee: it's almost all you need.

(THEME)

Smells so lovely when you pour it,
You will want to drink a quar't
Of coffee.
It's delicious all alone, it's
Also good with doughnuts.
Black coffee.
Have a cup and you will rally
In the Mississippi valley.
You'll be standing up and teachin
What it means to be Norwegian
Have a pot of it today,
I'm sure you'll say it's awfully good coffee.

(BIG BUTTON)

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