NYC, April 13, 2013

The Town Hall

New York, NY


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GK: Time for The Parables Revisited

(DRIFTING TOO FAR FROM THE SHORE ......CHORUS)

GK:.....A year ago you left Duluth with a one-way ticket to New York City----- they begged you to stay----

TR: Please. Marry Sally and help us run the smokehouse and give us some grandkids.

FN (DRAMATICALLY): I'm going to New York. To find my true self. Farewell. I never expected to be understood in Duluth. Your lives are empty! Do you hear me? Empty and banal. I pity you! Goodbye. (DOOR SLAM)

GK: And off you went to New York to become a dancer. (FN SINGS: Got to dance! Got to dance!) And you went to every audition and gave it your best----- (TAP RHYTHM)---- (TR: THANK YOU! NEXT!) ---- and you never got hired. (FN SINGS: Got to eat! Got to eat!) And so you found a day job. (TABLEWARE, DISHES. FN: Okay, who has the cheeseburger and who has the salad Nicoise? Okay. There you go. Bon appetit.) You live in a basement apartment on Staten Island which you share with a cabdriver from Kazakhstan or Armenistan or one of those stan countries who is always on the phone (TR FOREIGN ANGRY TALK) and who has a large dog (SFX) who gets excited when helicopters go overhead...

GK: ...(CHOPPER, WOOFING) and you've come to a point where, if you don't win the lottery, you're going to have to admit defeat and move back home. (FN DISCOURAGEMENT) And one morning, as you're riding the ferry to Manhattan (BOAT HORN) you call up your father and beg for his forgiveness.

FN: Father, I have wasted my substance here in Gotham. I am no longer worthy to be your son. Let me come home and be as one of your servants.

TR (ON PHONE): Oh boy. I remember that story. We used to hear that one in the Lutheran church. (OFF) Hey----- what are you doing? Cut that out! (LAUGHTER) You are a wild wild woman. (EXOTIC BIRD) Dancing?? Now?? Well, okay----- (ABORIGINAL GIBBERISH)

FN: Dad?? Where are you? What's going on??

TR (ON PHONE): You didn't get our postcard?

FN: No. Why?

TR (ON PHONE): Your mother and I converted to paganism. Three weeks ago.

FN: You mean, you're not----

TR: Here's your mom.

SS (ON PHONE): Hi honey. How's New York?

FN: It's fine, I'm just a little surprised---- where are you?

SS (ON PHONE): We moved to Pago-Pago. It's on the Rawalpindi archipelago. We live with a tribe of sun worshippers. We go around naked most of the time and we learned to love fermented fish and we live in a house a hundred yards long so it can accommodate all of your dad's wives.

FN: He has other wives?

SS: Say hello to them.

TR (WOMAN): I'm Norma. SS: I'm Frieda. FN (WOMAN): Lola. TR (WOMAN): I'm Celia. SS: Vivian. FN (WOMAN): Sasha. TR (WOMAN): I'm Tricia. SS: Gabriela. FN (WOMAN): Tania. TR (WOMAN): Sydney. SS: Nora. FN (WOMAN): Maria. TR (WOMAN): Ina. SS: Veronica. FN (WOMAN): Louisa.

FN: How did this happen?

SS (ON PHONE): Honey, our cellphone is losing power. We'll call you (STATIC, VOICE BREAKUP).

GK: And here you are in New York. (SHIP HORN) A cold spring. (RAIN) You're living with a lot of dog hair and the anger of a cabdriver (TR UZBEKISTANI) You're trying hard and getting nowhere (FN SINGS: Got to dance) .....and you were about to go home and beg forgiveness but the ones who would've forgiven you, they've left. They moved to an island in the South Seas. Only one left back home is your older brother and he doesn't like you.

TR (COLD): You made your bed, go lie in it. You think I'm going to kill the fatted calf for you, you got another think coming. Bye. (CLICK)

GK: So if you're thinking of repentance, don't wait too long. (DRIFTING TOO FAR.....VERSE AND CHORUS)

Old Sweet Songs: A Prairie Home Companion 1974-1976

Old Sweet Songs

Lovingly selected from the earliest archives of A Prairie Home Companion, this heirloom collection represents the music from earliest years of the now legendary show: 1974–1976. With songs and tunes from jazz pianist Butch Thompson, mandolin maestro Peter Ostroushko, Dakota Dave Hull and the first house band, The Powdermilk Biscuit Band (Adam Granger, Bob Douglas and Mary DuShane).

Available now»

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