Coffee, June 15, 2013

Chateau Ste. Michelle Winery

Woodinville, WA

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Listen (MP3)

GK: Coffee: it used to be a cheap drink in truck stops ---- diesel exhaust, a cheese Danish, a cuppa java. And then it became a fine art. (ESPRESSO, SINGING NESSUN DORMA). I used to drink instant coffee, coffee out of vending machines, and was satisfied with it. And then ---- advertising created dissatisfaction.

TR (50s GUY): Ellen! (SPITS) What's wrong with this coffee?? My god it's awful!

SS (50s WOMAN): But I tried so hard!

TR (50s GUY): Do something about your coffee, Ellen. Then maybe I'll find you attractive again. (FOOTSTEPS, DOOR CLOSES, SS SOBS)


GK: Advertising introduced a new concept: that there was such a thing as bad coffee. And therefore, better coffee. We just drank coffee because that's what adults did: it was bitter, and so what? That's life. But advertising introduced the idea that --- if you pay more for coffee, then it mus be better.

TR: Mmmmm. What kind of coffee is this, Ed?

FN: It's (GIBBERISH). It's from Spain. The beans come raw and I roast them myself. (FLAME THROWER) And grind them in this grinder. (SFX) And infuse them into hot water. (ESPRESSO) It costs about $10 a cup but it's worth it.

GK: And suddenly everyone had their own coffee grinder. And people started talking about coffee.

FN (IVY): Well, I like that it has a big muscular bouquet. And it has a long finish and then an aftertaste of chocolate, persimmon, maple, and garbanzo.

GK: The journey of coffee: once a cheap drink of truckdrivers, now an aesthetic journey, a lifestyle experience. It's coffee. Would you want anything less?


Smells so lovely when you pour it,
You will want to drink a quar't
Of coffee.
Lining up for it like cattle
On the streets of Seattle
Black coffee
Guatemalan or Brazilian
Makes you feel like a million
In a grande or a venti
Either one is more than plenty
Have a pot of it today
And I'm sure you'll say it's awfully good coffee. (BUTTON)

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